Teddy Roosevelt (such a wuss!) said “Walk softly and carry a big stick.” Me, I scowl and threaten and wield the biggest stick in the history of America. Cuz I’m SuperTrump.
I can never have too many pictures of myself. So here’s a picture of me and the Addams my family at the funeral of democracy. The woman in blue somehow missed the wardrobe memo.
Let’s talk about my campaign promises. Behold! how much I’ve already done! (** important note to readers below)
Curbing inflation? So ‘last year.’ I was joking when I promised to bring down the price of eggs. Or health care. Or anything else. You’re gonna love tariffs. Whatever it takes to save my billionaire buddies from taxes.
Law and order—Did I say that? Just kidding. I only meant it when the violence protects ME. Anyway, I pardoned them all, because I might need them again. Now they know they won’t be punished, they’ll do anything for me. The QAnon shaman guy is already buying guns, bless his vengeful little heart.
Drain the swamp. I’m getting rid of all those pesky BIPOCs and sexual preverts, as well as people who don’t like me and people who know something about science. I don’t look so bad (by comparison) when I stock my administration with adulterers, scammers, ignoramuses, substance and domestic abusers, felons, conspiracy theorists, greedy billionaires, Nazi wannabes, and total wackdoodles. And who cares about conflicts of interest… By the way, did I tell you about my latest crypto offer?
Pandemic, shmandemic. Who needs those Cassandras in public health? They just flap their gums about viruses and vaccines and food safety (which I don’t need, because like any sane emperor, I’ve got my personal Big Mac-loving food taster). And you can thank me for shutting our borders, because NO VIRUS can climb a wall, or wherever I make a mark with my sharpie.
Women? What women? They have no place in the military. They have no place in government. They have no place outside the kitchen or nursery. OK. I make exceptions: they have a place in my bedroom (or in Elon’s or Pete’s).
Get rid of those brown people. The shit-hole countries south of the border sent us their worst people from prisons and insane asylums so they can rape our women and steal our jobs. I’m rounding ‘em up like scared sheep. What? they’re too scared to come to work? Toughen up, Buttercup—learn to pick your own crops and butcher your own hogs. Clean your house and care for your kids or sick Granny? That’s why you should stay home. (OTOH, if your industry contributes to my
inauguration fundlatest crypto offer, we might be able to talk.)DEI? [I wrote about this earlier today, in a MUCH lighter personal post.]
So stay tuned! That’s just a teeny tiny taste of the delights I’ve got planned for our Late Great Country. Ladies—gonna be fun times! Blue states—I’m working on the greatest retribution plan in the history of America. Ukraine—isn’t that somewhere in Europe? How about that big beautiful Greenland!
** Apologies if you’re up to already up to HERE with this horror show.
I didn’t call this newsletter Alive! with Joy for nothing. I would so much rather write about color, beauty, family, literature, art, hangnails… ANYTHING.
But, part of being Alive! is paying attention. And inasmuch as my name is Joy, I recognize you can’t know joy without also knowing anger, pain and grief.
Experts on defeating tyranny say emphatically, DO NOT LET ATROCITIES go un-noted. DO NOT REMAIN SILENT. Authoritarians want us to be so overwhelmed by their shit we just climb back under the covers and wait for the final blow. I’m not going to do that. Let’s hang in there together.
If New Orleans can get more snow than Anchorage, anything’s possible!
It’s up to us. Women lead the way.
The Four Jessicas tell us how in their daily newsletters:
Jessica Craven’s “Chop Wood, Carry Water,” offers simple daily actions you can take with links to your representatives.
Jessica Yellin’s “News Not Noise” to spare you the outrage while giving you context and information you can use.
Jessica Valenti’s “Abortion, Every Day”—keep abreast of every sneaky way they’re trying to take away our rights.
Jess Piper’s “The View from Rural Missouri.” An ever-hopeful activist who is committed to lifting Democratic voices in the so-called Red States. Love her!
I’ll post more Not-Jessica voices in later posts. Including some men!
Put yourself in the way of beauty
Continuing the theme of unconventional beauty. New Seasons Market in my neighborhood spotlights their utility hookup pipes. And why not! The infrastructure that keeps our buildings functioning deserves appreciation.
I hope you will leave a comment—let me know what you’re doing to maintain your sanity and optimism. I always respond, even if it takes a day.
The only way others get to enjoy Alive! with Joy is if folks like you share it. So feel free to do so. Subscriptions are free.
I keep thinking surely a Government like this can be ousted before the end of their term.
Humour is going to be so important for b the next few years so Joy please keep providing some in your posts.
Watch out Colin Robinson https://youtu.be/A-Eldr7aV74?si=h_jFXDA8bwO8QAIQ
I think Donald Trump is going to steal your role!! I finally allowed myself to hear Trump’s voice only because my husband said he sounded old. I listened to him for no more than 30 seconds and immediately thought of Colin Robinson. It's a bit mean to Colin Robinson but I have to mention as the energy vampire part rang true
Joy couldn't be a better name for these times. Funeral to Democracy, definitely what all thos outfits represent. So different from inaugurations of times past. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/fashion/fashion-news/g63453660/best-presidential-inauguration-day-outfits/