Our Stuff, Our Selves
Fantasy vs. Reality: early responses to the LA fires
I used to visit The Real Mother Goose in downtown Portland just for the pleasure of running my hands over the silky surfaces of the elegant handmade wood furniture they sold. Everything in the store (also ceramics, clothing and jewelry) was crafted by local artisans.
Most of the stuff was out of my price range, but it cost nothing to ogle the beautiful objects. Besides, I already had perfectly serviceable furniture, clothes that were just fine, and jewelry I kept forgetting to wear.
Because I’m a practical yankee (i.e. cheap) I harbored a fantasy that could justify owning such finery: a fire that totally destroyed my home. The insurance money would allow me a do-over, with furnishings from The Real Mother Goose, starting with a silky smooth table of black walnut inlaid with birdseye maple, some hand-woven placemats, one-of-a kind hand-blown glass vases, hand-dyed quilted jackets, jewelry I would never forget to wear.
It was a lovely fantasy.
I cringe as I revisit this fantasy today as the fires still rage in Los Angeles, burning entire neighborhoods to the ground. I can hardly fathom what a nightmare it would be to lose everything. Our objects are physical representations of who we have been, who we love and who we think we are. When we lose all our Stuff, we lose our history, we lose our aspirations, we lose our connection to Ground and a sense of safety.
As a former feng shui consultant, I know that our Things are alive, imbued with meaning and memories. They are always subliminally talking to us—the teapot reminds us “Grandma used me to make tea every morning,” and we feel loved as we use it. We pass the unmade bed and it says, “you’re such a slob!” The pile of papers on the desk reproaches us for being so behind in paying the bills. This is why decluttering is so important—getting rid of those things you don’t use or love (don’t “spark joy”).
To “declutter” everything in one devastating swoop would upend my anchor to the physical world, and would require me to rethink EVERYTHING. A therapist I knew barely escaped alive from the Oakland hills firestorm back in 1990. She lost everything. As she contemplated going forward, she went BIG; she decided to start fresh in every aspect of her life. She divorced her husband of 35 years; she moved to a new community; she quit being a therapist and got her real estate license; and she rebooted her spiritual life by studying for her bat-mitzvah—something that wasn’t available to her when she was 13.
The affluent folks in Pacific Palisades who lost everything may be able to refurnish at some Los Angeles version of The Real Mother Goose, but they’ll never be able to replace their kids’ artwork, the letters from Grandma, the family photos, their favorite slippers and so much more.
For those with barely enough money to get by, this tragedy could be many families’ undoing. Private equity vultures are already sweeping in to offer them pennies for their land, because they feed on the vulnerable.
My heart breaks for every one of them.
Meanwhile the entire smirking GOP House delegation from California (minus 1) has deserted their state and their devastated constituents. Instead they flew to Mar-a-Lago to hang with the president-elect. Yeah. Thumbs up.
It appears that the Trump/Musk/MAGA machine would like nothing better than to see California completely undone. That would really “own the libtards!” Here’s former GOP operative (longtime anti-trumper) Steve Schmidt on this:
It has become fashionable in recent years to bash California. The state’s governance has become a punchline, a caricature and a MAGA war cry. Among the great grotesqueries and stupidities of our time is the sheer number of MAGA politicians who openly disdain the nation’s economic, technological, social, cultural, and innovation furnace.* There is no scenario in which America succeeds with a failing California. Only an imbecile would root for California to fail or burn, and tragically, there is no shortage of fools in America rooting for both…
During the greatest crisis in the history of California en route to becoming the costliest natural disaster in American history, Donald Trump has offered snarling insults, veiled threats, misinformation and unrestrained malice.
He has used the disaster to attack the California governor, and has said nothing that matters of any consequence to the multitudes who are terrified and have lost everything.
Instead, like always, he has debased, inflamed and manipulated, when he should have done the exact opposite. He seeks to gain from suffering, and incredibly, he doesn’t even bother to hide it anymore…
Trump looks at this disaster, and he sees one thing, and one thing only. Opportunity—an opportunity to attack and weaken the enemy, which in his sick mind, is California.
*Consider the immense technological, cultural, and legislative invention that has come from the Golden State. The state is home to 39 million Americans. Its economy ranks fifth internationally, behind the US, China, Germany, and Japan. On a per capita basis, California's GDP is greater than that of all of these countries…
I wish our leaders were better than this.
PUT YOURSELF IN THE PATH OF BEAUTY
From my older son in France. This is a phenomenon known as a “sun dog.”
And from evergreen Portland… after the leaves fall, moss and elven people take over:
I'm someone who looks at my "stuff" and if I haven't touched it or looked at it in 6 months, I package it up an make a trip to the local Help Center Thrift Store where it can be sold cheaply to someone who will love it! Otherwise, I have a very large room in my house which used to be my home office. Now it's my office, my library, my tv room and my art studio. The walls are covered with my paintings, shelves are lined with books and treasured do-dads, the seating area in front of the tv is cozy with furniture I bought ages ago. It probably looks like a decorating crisis to visitors but every bit of it brings me joy!!
Joy, thank you for putting to pen words that capture the agony of what is becoming a daily desecration of all that is decent and humane. And yet so grateful for your ending with beautiful photos that bring us back to nature and what we all can treasure no matter what or how great our losses.
I’m reading Lynne Olson’s book Madame Fourcade’s Secret War about her leadership in the French underground during WWII when the German Nazi/Vichy government was in control. I hesitantly propose that we may all be called upon to openly or secretly disavow the incoming government and its practices if the democratic processes are thwarted. We all know that democracy was supposed to be an “unalienable right” but it is being battered such that it is turning into a privilege that requires fighting for….
We may all be called upon to fight for that “right” in the days and years ahead.