“Let the future be the future. On crossing bridges when you come to them.”
Thus begins Day 7 of Oliver Burkeman’s Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace your limitations and Make Time Count for What Counts. I adore this book and am already on my second go-round of these pithy daily reminders. (I’ve already given away a half dozen copies.)
As we close out the 24th year of the 21st century (WTF??? A quarter century has already passed since the Y2K panic at the end of 1999? We did survive.), I note that I spent waaaay too much time and energy freaking out about what lay ahead if Trump regained the White House. I did what I could to prevent that from happening, and it still happened. If I had done nothing, I’d have blamed myself for the loss, however cultural forces beyond any individual’s control took over. Have I learned my lesson?
And now we’re HERE (which is where we always are). What was, was, and what will be, will be. I relinquish [the illusion of] control and choose to let the future be the future—a new year in which I’ll spend my precious days seeking more ways to be Alive! with Joy, instead of Anxious! for the Future.
In preparation for this unknowable future, I am concluding 2024 with the rituals I do in that precious liminal space between Christmas and New Years to wash the decks of metaphorical goose poop, and set myself up for a better new year.
1) “Keep or Toss” review. This is my 4th year with these tubs, which live on my bedside table. It's not always easy to remember to add a slip at the end of each day, but reading them in late December brings the year back to life. Each slip notes the date, and something pleasing I'd like to remember (KEEP—a surprise call from an old friend, a great book, a walk to the Japanese Garden), or something that went badly or pissed me off (TOSS—a friend’s illness, pretty much everything Trump and SCOTUS). I’m grateful that the Keepers far outnumber the Tosses. My stand-out Keepers every year are quality time spent with a friend or family member, long term projects completed (or gleefully abandoned), and times when I did something “frivolous” for fun. Frivolous fun is ever a challenge for my inner Calvinist.
2) Calendar and journal review and assessment. This can be as simple as leafing through the weeks and making a list with two columns: what was worth doing, and what I don't want to repeat (could also include people to see again or not). Look over the lists and make plans to do more of the worthwhile stuff and figure out how to do less of the not worthwhile.
OR...
You could do a really deep dive and ask yourself all sorts of questions whose answers might surprise you and reveal some important new truths to guide you in the new year. I've got just such the assessment tool for you! It's called the Year Compass 2024/2025. It is FREE, and includes ten pages of interesting questions about the past year and ten more pages of questions about the year ahead.
3)Set up the coming year. Instead of doing the Year Compass for the next year, I just make lists of my intentions in each area of my life: personal/health, social/community, business/financial, creativity, recreation/education etc.
4)Word of the Year. Alas, for several years running I’d forgotten my word of the year within a couple of months of choosing it. So last year I chose a new Word each season. This year I’m putting the Word on my refrigerator, in the center of my newest ritual: the BINGO card.
This year my word is EnCourage. Take heart. Have courage. To remind me of the stance I want to take both with myself and with those I meet— face-to-face in my daily life, and those who read my writing.
5)Make your Bingo Card. I made a list of a bunch of things I wanted to do, people I wanted to see, places I wanted to go, frivolous fun ideas, etc. Some easy, some a reach. NOT on the list were things beyond my control (Trump’s demise, 10,000 Substack subscribers, Nobel prize winning). I cut up a piece of paper into 24 squares and wrote one of these items on each piece. For the heck of it, three squares were labeled SURPRISE! because I wanted to be able to fill in “Well, I never had THAT on my BINGO card!” happenstances as well. To randomize the layout, I tossed the squares in a jar, then laid them out on the card as I pulled them and wrote the idea on the card. Which is now on my frig. EnCourage is written boldly at the top and in the center.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Do you have year-end rituals? I’d love to hear what you do at the end of the year, and if you’ve got a Word, what is it and how did you arrive at it?
PUT YOURSELF IN THE WAY OF BEAUTY
My sister Holly has become addicted to Zentangles, and encouraged me to give it a try for its meditative qualities. She’s not only a fine musician, it turns out she’s an artist as well. This is done on a 3-1/2” square.
I got this instructional book last week and a packet of squares, and have been making my own crude attempts. I’ll spare you a picture till I get firmer control of my pen (or hand). However if you want to get an idea of how these are constructed, please enjoy this mesmerizing 11-minute demo.
Soooo, Bu-bye 2024, don’t let the door hit you in the butt on your way out. And WELCOME 2025, where the future will be what it will be.
Great column, Joy! I’d never bring myself to do ALL of those things, but I immediately wrote EnCourage on a sticky note and put it on my refrigerator!! Perfect 2025 word!
My word for the coming year...though I knew it some weeks ago....is PERSIST! I will persist in living...refusing (as Clint Eastwood said in an interview) to let the old lady out! I will persist in helping the organizations that will fight for our democracy. I will persist in finding ways to support my adult children and my old lady friends. My "word" will require a lot from me in 2025 and I will give it my best! And even though I can't control it, I might even persist from time to time in daydreaming about the Felon's demise.....